Friday, September 01, 2006
Self Portrait, 8 weeks pregnant -- Pencil, Sept 1st, 2006.
Baby. Safe in Mamma's tummy. I suppose this is as good a time/place as any to let the world know. I'm pregnant!!! Hubby & I are terribly excited.
I wasn't sure if I was going to post this drawing. One of the dangers of using yourself as a model is that your drawing may end up looking even more like you than you thought it might. Of course, I intended it to be a drawing of me, pregnant at 8 weeks. But I guess I thought my rough sketch lines would stylize it a bit. My husband chuckled when he saw the drawing, he said it definitely looked like me, but said it seemed tasteful enough to post. My mom said it would have been fine if not for the fact that it has my face. I started getting nervous posting it myself. My friends, relatives, art customers/clients, and salsa students all come here from time to time, and now they get to see me naked. Well, it's not really me naked. I mean I did take some artistic licenses of course. I came up with several censored versions of the drawing, but found myself getting a terrible taste in my mouth and wanting to rebel against my own censorship. So here it is. Unaltered. Raw. This is me (sort of). With Baby safe in Mamma's tummy, but with Mamma feeling vulnerable and exposed.
How sad that we can't just appreciate the naked form. As soon as it has a face/identity, especially if it is recognizable, it almost becomes lewd at the moment of recognition. But I started thinking about it. This is the way this drawing had to be. It had to be recognizable as me. It's me pregnant. Baby is safe in my belly. Maybe I could have drawn it with clothes on, but I think that would have taken away from the purity of the connection between me and my unborn. Then you would have identified me by my clothes and categorized me as a certain type. But, here, I am me, just me. No cover, no guise, nothing but me and Baby.
This reminds me of an article I read yesterday. Totally different situation. But we Americans definitely have a problem with nudity, especially motherly nudity. Why? Who knows. But apparently there is a big uproar about the scandelous photo of a nursing baby on the cover of "Baby Talk" magazine. Ridiculous! It couldn't be less sexual or lewd, or more beautiful.
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